RESILIENCE THE ART OF SURVIVAL

RESILIENCE THE ART OF SURVIVAL

If we take a step back and look at the characteristics of those who make it through the rough patches in history, there is one characteristic that will stand out among all, resilience. As contradictory as it may seem, society has conditioned us to specialize and become the best of the best in a something or a whatever, we can get our hands on.

Each year, young adults graduate college with a massive debt they will end up paying the greater part of their lives. Only a lucky few will be able to pursue the dream job they studied for. While the rest, unprepared, and forced to make ends meet will be engaging in whatever they can to make it.

It’s not the strongest who survive. Those who succeed, are the ones who can get knocked down, scrape their knees, and manage stand once more knowing they may get knocked down again. When we talk about strength, we instinctively believe there is no failure in the mix. The strong are always first place, always prepared, and the most successful, but are they?

My Dad once told me, I had to learn how to live rich and poor. His explanation, people must learn how to live in the worst conditions and not only the best or easy ones. When you reach that comfort zone you lose the ability to adjust. You never know when you must start from the bottom again and giving up should never be an option. By this, you learn how to change and adapt to anything that life throws in your direction.

In the light of our current pandemic, life has really thrown in a massive wrench in the mix. Fear, uncertainty, and paranoia are becoming our daily cocktail. Safe jobs are becoming increasingly scarce. The stress, to keep our loved ones safe, bringing food to the table, and surviving one more day, is at incomparable levels.

The hope of waking up the following morning, to a “bad dream”, is what most of us around the world whole heartedly desire. The reality, it is not a bad dream. I cannot say this will all be peachy soon, but what I can say is this, it’s a time for us to reflect and consider uncomfortable as our new norm, and it will help us better prepare for the new life we need to build weather or not things do get better. Time will not stand still waiting for us to react and decide when we need to start pushing again.

Throughout history, humanity has had the need to evolve not only its genetics, but also, its mind and strategy. How long ago was it that women were not allowed to work? Yet in today’s world, a woman working might just be the breaking point on whether the family can make ends meet and bring food to the table or not.

 Business, leaders, and employees are being forced to become increasingly creative and highly resilient to make it through this crisis. Here is where we will be able to see who is willing to go the extra mile, who is willing to learn something new, and who is willing to put on those uncomfortable shoes and try out new things.

Based on my personal life experience I have been through challenging times and being able to adapt and move forward was the key. I credit my survival in the jungle of humanity to 10 specific philosophies I want to share with you.

  • Embrace change
Photo by Vera November on Reshot

                Nothing is meant to stay the same. If things were meant to remain intact, people would be lugging around their two-year-old for eternity. The moment you expect things to be to remain calm and perfect, is when you will get that back of the hand slap from life and trust me, it will not be gentle. I am not saying we need to be pessimist, but we need to stay on our toes.

  • Face fears

                Now don’t you go tying a bungee cord to your ankles and jump of a bridge to get over your fear of heights. I do suggest though, we should consider coming face to face with our problem. At one point in my life I was afraid to start over. Worried about what struggles I’d face and wondered if it was just better to endure an abusive relationship than possibly struggle financially once again. One day I went over the pros and cons planned the best I could and knew I had to look it in the eye. It wasn’t easy, but I made it out alive.

  • Be optimistic
Photo by Tereza on Reshot

                It is not always doom and gloom. Dreaming and being optimistic keeps us from sinking in a hole of negative thoughts. I personally love to daydream. When I have worked on projects or was down on luck, I pictured the outcome and I could feel the happiness and excitement I knew I’d feel when I got there. This truly helped some of the bad days easier to live through.

  • Be Creative

                There is more than one way to skin a cat, and there sure as hell is one highly efficient way. We might find it easy to go on autopilot and follow the masses. Sometimes we just must question things a little and find out that there is more than one universal truth. I apply this to politics

  • Find ways to learn new things

                Take the opportunity to find other interests. You might be surprised to learn you can be good at something else. Hobbies and courses can help you steer in that direction. When looking for employment or a part time job, try looking for something new where you can also learn new skills and grow. You never know what you might like and may eventually thrive in it. At one point in my life was I was adamant I’d become a doctor or a nurse. When I found a job in a hotel/lodge, I learned administrative, leadership, and computer skills I’d come to enjoy. Before I knew it, this marked the beginning of a path I’d follow in life.

Photo by Peter Pheap on Reshot
  • Work on emotional intelligence

                This is a big one. When a person has been put through the wringer, it can take a toll on their emotional intelligence. Life can make any adult become a big kid throwing a tantrum. People can become too irritable, impatient, jealous, insecure, angry, anxious, sensitive, or a straight-out emotional roller coaster. Take the time to know and work on your emotions. Being in better control of them will allow you to work better with others and be in a better mental state yourself. You will also gain better understanding of what triggers certain emotions, so you are better prepared to tackle them.

  • Accept being wrong

                When you think you are always right, you are most likely wrong. Every time I am presented with a situation and I feel the other person is at fault, I take some time to question myself. Sometimes you are initially set in your ways and are unable to clearly see perspective and accept the possibility of being mistaken. When you set yourself aside and carefully question your thoughts, beliefs, and intentions you might find yourself being wrong.

  • Break Boundaries

                So, you have a role in the company you work in. What if you break those boundaries? Have you ever tried to be helpful in other departments? What if you find strengths and opportunities in something new? Building bridges not only can help you on your day to day job, but it can also help you build strong relationships, they will one day help you too.

Remember, extra work and learning opportunities does not always have to mean more money in the short term. Sacrifices are made for the better of the whole picture, not just immediate gratification. I have worked in several companies where I learned and functioned as an addition to many roles in other departments. More work, no raise. This, however, gave me extra training and exposure which in the later years helped me in my role, and the ability to grow within the company.

  • Be prepared to fall, fail, and be criticized

                Remember failure is a lesson and criticism is a blessing. You need failure to find a better road. When you fall flat on your face wear that nose cast proudly. The next time you fall you might just have a pillow handy. Being criticized can help you gain a new perspective of who you are and what you can improve, but remember to filter out nonsense, and malicious intent.

I always tell the people I am leading to be open and honest with me. Throughout the years I have developed a thick skin. Their honesty and trust strengthen our relationship and allow me to trust them when they provide areas of improvement as well as me being able to be honest with them.

  • Reward yourself

                Take the time to reward yourself. Expecting others to motivate you and praise you is exhausting. When you take the time to love and reward yourself you create the discipline on not relying on others to be happy. I usually buy myself a small present after finishing a big project or do something I enjoy after a tough time. It is far more rewarding and keeps me focused on the positive rather than the struggle.

                Remember when all this madness is behind us, whatever that may look like, you will be far better prepared for the next rug pulled underneath you. You never know, you might really enjoy the new resilient you. Best of luck and stay safe.